Sometimes I think being too happy is a bad thing. It stops you from thinking. It’s like all the remainders of the lessons learnt was completely erased. It makes you forget the past, the past that should be tormenting you everyday. That’s how life suppose to be — Painful & Unforgettable. Sometimes I wonder if this means being happy? Or a deception of being depressed? How do you understand what you cannot comprehend? How do you relate what you have never experience before? Maybe jumping to assumptions is a resort to understanding, but that’s not reality.

Have you ever wonder, if you weren’t born in this body? The body that you’re stuck in right now. What if you were someone else? Would things be of any difference? Or would everything just be the same? — The same soul stuck in another physical appearance. Will you still love the same person you once did? Or should I say, from another world or dimension? Whatever you may call it. Does your brain really controls your favoritism towards things and people? Or does fate plays a part?

It feels like dejavu. It felt like I’ve been through all this before. It felt like I loved you forever. It felt like I was once left in this scenario where everything was perfect and suddenly it was blown to ashes. A moment like, I’ve lived this life before…. It scares me. Happiness scares me. Cause I know, nothing last forever.

They say time makes the heart grow fonder. I say time makes the heart die faster. Yes it takes time to fall for someone. 2 conclusion to every relationship, you end up either falling head over heels or simply just walk away from what you thought was love. But still, that doesn’t remove the possibility of you falling for someone else while being in love with another. So does that still mean you were fond of the person since you were still able to break their hearts?

Of the most rare cases, where you really do fall deeply for the person, now it feels a life time seems too little. My heart would die without this person, even after death. You really don’t know what happens after death. What if you continue to live after life? I cannot not be with this person and no I won’t replace with another. Call me greedy or selfish but all I know is, a soul-mate is of a lifetime or rather as long as I continue to possess this memory.

I believe in choosing just one person and sticking with them eternally. I use the word eternally because I believe in after life. But anyway, wasn’t that what you promised from the day it all started? That you will be together forever? And you’ll never leave? How can you love someone if it’s able to be changed due to circumstances? That’s not love.. is it? In the movie Twilight, when a werewolf imprints into another/person, they will be mates for life. Bounded by their very lives. If one dies, the other will not live. I think that should be just right.

It’s always love that makes us go berserk. I don’t know why. Maybe love is the closest thing we have to magic? I wonder.

If I had a time machine, I guess the only thing I would change is my existence. It hurts too much to be part of this world. Even happiness feels too painful. Though, pain is pleasure. But it’s a pleasure I would rather escape if given a choice. But of cause, we know, things can’t be changed. Even a scar we accidentally cut ourselves never disappears. Well, that was just a thought.

I guess it’s fear that keeps us going. Fear of losing. Fear of what you can’t control. Fear of what you can’t foresee. But I guess fear is what that keeps us in place.

But I guess, if I hadn’t had met you, I wouldn’t be able to fight on alone. Though, I am in a dilemma whether it was a blessing or a curse. I am and I must be thankful, cause even in this cruel world I’m lucky enough to find the person that gives me a reason to keep breathing, the courage to keep living. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I love you.

This made me smile –

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived; Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left.

Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment. When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said “Richness, can you take me with you?” Richness answered, “No, I can’t. There is a lot of silver in my boat. There is no place here for you.”

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. “Vanity, please help me!” “I can’t help you Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat,” Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, “Sadness, let me go with you.” “Oh….Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself.”

Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her!

Suddenly there was a voice, “Come Love, I will take you.” It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went his own way.

Love realizing how much he owed the elder, asked Knowledge, another elder. “Who helped me?” “It was Time,” Knowledge answered. “Time?” asked Love. “But why did Time help me?” Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, “Because, only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is.”

You make me smile with all the little things you do. And even though I can’t always be with you. My heart already belongs to you. After all the mistakes been made, I’ll still always be with you. I love you a little more today than yesterday, and I’ll love you even more tomorrow. My life belongs to you and I’ll keep breathing because of you.

Thank you boy for always being there for me.

I love you Boojiboo, not forever but as long as I’ll live.

I don’t believe in forever, I’m just hoping forever never ends.

The world doesn’t end without you; but my world will never be the same
My life doesn’t stop if you leave me; i’ll move on hoping to see you again
It’s not a habit that I rather stay with; it’s just you i love seeing everyday
I’m not afraid of being alone; i’ll always have the memories that we’ve made
It’s because
My heart told me that; and my brain couldn’t disagree
You are the only person I’ll ever love in this lifetime

Sometimes we do crazy stuff in life, but I’m loving every moment of it. Live life to it’s fullest, don’t turn back cause we have so much to look forward to. You never know what you’ll be missing out on. Play hard, live real, scream loud. (:

I have just begin to live.

Smile, laugh & love. Life.