Sometimes I think being too happy is a bad thing. It stops you from thinking. It’s like all the remainders of the lessons learnt was completely erased. It makes you forget the past, the past that should be tormenting you everyday. That’s how life suppose to be — Painful & Unforgettable. Sometimes I wonder if this means being happy? Or a deception of being depressed? How do you understand what you cannot comprehend? How do you relate what you have never experience before? Maybe jumping to assumptions is a resort to understanding, but that’s not reality.

Have you ever wonder, if you weren’t born in this body? The body that you’re stuck in right now. What if you were someone else? Would things be of any difference? Or would everything just be the same? — The same soul stuck in another physical appearance. Will you still love the same person you once did? Or should I say, from another world or dimension? Whatever you may call it. Does your brain really controls your favoritism towards things and people? Or does fate plays a part?

It feels like dejavu. It felt like I’ve been through all this before. It felt like I loved you forever. It felt like I was once left in this scenario where everything was perfect and suddenly it was blown to ashes. A moment like, I’ve lived this life before…. It scares me. Happiness scares me. Cause I know, nothing last forever.

They say time makes the heart grow fonder. I say time makes the heart die faster. Yes it takes time to fall for someone. 2 conclusion to every relationship, you end up either falling head over heels or simply just walk away from what you thought was love. But still, that doesn’t remove the possibility of you falling for someone else while being in love with another. So does that still mean you were fond of the person since you were still able to break their hearts?

Of the most rare cases, where you really do fall deeply for the person, now it feels a life time seems too little. My heart would die without this person, even after death. You really don’t know what happens after death. What if you continue to live after life? I cannot not be with this person and no I won’t replace with another. Call me greedy or selfish but all I know is, a soul-mate is of a lifetime or rather as long as I continue to possess this memory.

I believe in choosing just one person and sticking with them eternally. I use the word eternally because I believe in after life. But anyway, wasn’t that what you promised from the day it all started? That you will be together forever? And you’ll never leave? How can you love someone if it’s able to be changed due to circumstances? That’s not love.. is it? In the movie Twilight, when a werewolf imprints into another/person, they will be mates for life. Bounded by their very lives. If one dies, the other will not live. I think that should be just right.

It’s always love that makes us go berserk. I don’t know why. Maybe love is the closest thing we have to magic? I wonder.

If I had a time machine, I guess the only thing I would change is my existence. It hurts too much to be part of this world. Even happiness feels too painful. Though, pain is pleasure. But it’s a pleasure I would rather escape if given a choice. But of cause, we know, things can’t be changed. Even a scar we accidentally cut ourselves never disappears. Well, that was just a thought.

I guess it’s fear that keeps us going. Fear of losing. Fear of what you can’t control. Fear of what you can’t foresee. But I guess fear is what that keeps us in place.

But I guess, if I hadn’t had met you, I wouldn’t be able to fight on alone. Though, I am in a dilemma whether it was a blessing or a curse. I am and I must be thankful, cause even in this cruel world I’m lucky enough to find the person that gives me a reason to keep breathing, the courage to keep living. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I love you.

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, ‘If I could only see the world, I will marry you.’

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her, ‘Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?’ The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn’t expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: ‘Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.’

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift

Today before you say an unkind word – Think of someone who can’t speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food – Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife – Think of someone who’s crying out to God for a companion.

Today before you complain about life – Think of someone who died too early on this earth.

Before you complain about your children – Think of someone who desires children but they’re barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn’t clean or sweep – Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive – Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job – Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another – Remember that not one of us is without sin.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down – Put a smile on your face and think: you’re alive and still around.

Sometimes we do crazy stuff in life, but I’m loving every moment of it. Live life to it’s fullest, don’t turn back cause we have so much to look forward to. You never know what you’ll be missing out on. Play hard, live real, scream loud. (:

I have just begin to live.

Smile, laugh & love. Life.